Blogmas 2019: Day Nine - How I Keep My Mum's Memory Alive Over Christmas

In last year’s Blogmas, I talked about how I cope with grief over Christmas so I thought this year, I would expand on that a bit more and be more honest and open about how I keep my mum's memory alive during the season and what I do that's the same and that's different.

For some people, celebrating Christmas is the last thing they want to even think about because of grief and other circumstances that are difficult – and that’s fair enough. Admittedly, the first two Christmases without my Mum I didn’t celebrate anything because, quite frankly, I didn’t see the point and I honestly just didn’t want to. However, after some time, I remembered how much my Mum loved the season and how much she would have wanted us to keep the celebrations alive still, even though she was no longer with us.

Decorating Family Home

Obviously, my flat is decorated before we even get to December because we love making home seem more magical with the addition of Christmas decorations and a tree etc. However, when I go home for a few days over Christmas, I make sure I get my dad or brother into the loft to get the tree and decorations down so I can decorate the family home too. Much to my annoyance, we don’t have the decorations left that my mum collected over the years, but I still try to get the tree up and decorate how she would have liked.

Keeping Some of the Christmas Day Traditions

Okay so I’m gonna get real here and admit that Christmas Day is nothing like it was when my mum was alive. That’s nothing against my dad and brother but it’s just very painfully obvious there’s someone missing from the day. I love the whole lead up to Christmas but a lot of the times on the day itself, I feel really lonely. Again, that’s nobody’s fault and is just a reflection on the close relationship my mum and I had. So, we try and keep some of the traditions we used to have with my mum alive. We start the day with presents exchanging and then we have breakfast whilst watching a Christmas film. The rest of the day, I spend watching Christmas films like I did with my mum and my dad and brother watch or do their own thing. Then, of course, we make Christmas dinner (they always have Quorn with me instead of actual meat) and eat it together round the table. It may not seem like much to some people but it’s what we can do.

Starting My Own Traditions Inspired by My Mum

Like I said before, I love decorating our flat and over the past few years, Jade and I have gotten into collecting ornaments for the tree. Mostly they tend to be Disney themed and each year, we’ve opted to buy one new ornament from Shop Disney to add to our collection – much like my mum collected tree ornaments over the years.

To anyone coping with grief or something else that’s making Christmas hard: it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay not to feel jolly and in the Christmas spirit. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise and if you feel sad on Christmas Day then that’s okay too. Just know that you’re not alone and that my DMs are always open if you need someone to chat to.