Grief Awareness Week

 This week (from the 2^nd-8^th December) is ‘Grief Awareness Week’, so I thought I would use the best outlet I have to share some thoughts and feelings on a subject matter that so many of us have to deal with.

‘What is grief, if not love persevering?’

Ever since Wandavision aired, this quote has stuck with me. It’s possibly the best and most meaningful description I’ve heard about grief. We all know grief as the mourning a loss, but seeing it described like this is powerful. So, although they may be gone – it doesn’t mean that the love you have for them has gone.

I always find that, in society, you’re expected to move on from your grieving after a certain time. The thing is, though; grief doesn’t have a shelf date. Yes, life carries on and yes, eventually, a lot of people can find a way to navigate through their lives; often finding strength and solace in other things or people. However, that doesn’t mean that the grief has gone. It’s a testament to the love you have for that person; that love is carrying on even though they are no longer there. It’s not compassionate or helpful to expect someone to just “snap out” of their grieving like it means nothing. Grieving – no matter how much time may have passed – is not something people should be made to feel ashamed to experience. You are always entitled to feel your grief and your feelings are always valid.

Grief isn’t linear. It’s not something that can be romanticised, and it most certainly isn’t universal for everyone. People experience grief differently and people cope differently. There’s no right or wrong way to grieve and we as a society need to be kinder and more compassionate to the ways in which people grieve. Just because it might not look how we expect it to; doesn’t mean its any less worthy of empathy and love.

My mum passed away nearly nine years ago and whilst I’d dealt with loss before that – this is still the biggest loss I’ve felt and still feel to this day. People say, “time heals all wounds” and I disagree. I don’t think I’m healed from this traumatic event, but time has granted me the ability to live with my grief and understand that it’s not something I need to feel ashamed of or try and hide.

In the world we live in, grief still feels like it’s a tabooed subject. You don’t want to bring up your personal grievances for fear of “dampening the mood”. People almost feel ashamed to share their feelings of grief in case others look at it and think “it’s been [x amount of time], how are you not over it yet?” and it’s something that we need to put an end to. People can and should be encouraged to share their struggles with grief, rather than keep them bottled up. Grief naturally has a severe impact on a person’s mental health, so discouraging people from talking about their feelings just adds to the stigma still surrounding mental health.

To anyone dealing with grief, I just want to say a few things:

Whether your grief is a recent thing, a long-term thing or something that you’ve dealt with multiple times – your feelings are valid. It can be hard to push through in the sea of grief especially when it feels like every day is darkened by the grief but please know that you aren’t alone. We all cope with grief differently and you don’t need to feel guilty or ashamed of that. Let yourself feel every emotion and know that you can always voice those feelings when you need to. You and your grief are valid but so are your moments of happiness and light.

Also, if you need someone to talk to you can always message me on Instagram by clicking here.