Accepting Me

Learning to accept who you are is a difficult thing and I think it’s something we all struggle with at some point. When I came out at 19, it was almost like I was reinventing myself because I’d taken away the mask that I was hiding behind. Being bi is a part of who I am and for the majority of my life so far, I was hiding that part from the rest of the world, and from myself.

Society kind of has expectations in place on how you should be and how you should act at the age of 25 so when people aren’t like that – you get stared at or the way you live your life gets questioned. Whether it’s because of your dress sense or your hobbies – society expects you to just “grow up” and grow out of certain things because it’s not what they think you should be like when you’re nearly 30.

Loving Disney has always been a part of me, but as I grew older, I felt embarrassed to embrace that fully and show it off because of fear of judgement from people I don’t even know – or even people I do know. It wasn’t until about 2016 when we went on our first Disneyland Paris trip that I realised that I wasn’t alone and that it was okay to love Disney and show that off. It wasn’t something to be embarrassed of and I didn’t have to hide it.

Over the past few years, I’ve felt like I’ve been coming to terms with who I am and trying to accept that despite possible judgement and/or ridicule from society. I fully embrace the fact that I love pink and all things pastel and will express this in the way that I dress – and a lot of the times, I will have a splash of Disney somewhere within my outfit.

I’m not at a place where I can confidently say that I love myself and who I am, but it’s something that I’m working on. Admittedly, I still have moments where I’ll look at myself and wonder whether I am just being “childish” and if I should just “grow up” and stop wearing Disney merchandise, posting about Disney and wearing pastel colours. But then I’ll always get reassuring words from people in my life that there’s nothing wrong with who I am and what I love.

Being part of the LGBTQ+ community, there will always be that worry about people expecting you to be or look or act a certain way. There are stereotypes that society places on the community and if you don’t meet those expectations – are you even gay or are you just “in a phase”? Being bi, you face the constant “in a phase” or “pick a side” remarks.

I’m learning to realise that I don’t have to look or act in a certain way just to please other people or just to prove something to anyone. I am who I am and if people don’t like that – that’s their problem. It’s not our place to tell someone how they should be or put people into a box. If people want to dress a certain way, then it’s their body and it’s their life. If something makes someone happy and they’re not hurting anyone, then why is it our business? It’s not our place to judge how a person lives their life. As Taylor Swift says, ‘stressin’ and obsessin’ about somebody else is no fun’ – how does it benefit you in any way to drag someone else down for how they choose to live their life?

So, if you’re having moments of self doubt about who you are and how you express yourself, I just want to let you know that I think you’re doing great. People, unfortunately, are always going to judge and talk because its what society does best. But if your style/hobbies etc make you happy and you want to live your life as your authentic self then to hell with society. They don’t get to dictate who you are. Only you get to choose who you are. If it’s safe for you to do and you feel comfortable – then be yourself and know that you’ve got support.